The Lostling
The Lostling had been loved once. Only briefly, but definitely once.
The day she was abandoned, her mother had said that the sun had split the pavements.
“You’ll be found here love.” She’d whispered into her newborn’s soft, pink ear.
The Lostling could still remember the moment, somehow. But that had been far too many years ago now for her to care to remember.
Her mother had pulled back the woolen covers she’d tucked into the carry crib. The air was stifling, and the heat of that hot summer’s day was making the little one drowsy.
She could remember the pebbles on the beach; The warm air had been soothing and calm.
She could remember the gentle to-and-fro of the sea; The seagulls cawing and diving in the sky above her.
It was the last time she’d felt happy.
If she concentrated, she could still hear her mother’s footsteps vanishing across the shingle.
As darkness had fallen, she heard voices. Men, powerful and angry. Short bursts of loud shouts, braying and heaving on the warm evening breeze. There had been torchlight and heavy boots. The crush of stones underfoot sounded like a rolling cacophony. She’d felt scared and cried for her mother.
When the men found her, she was howling a world worn infant’s lament. The screams had pierced the night sky like lightening, and were answered by the monstrous thunder of the search party as they scrambled across the stony beach.
She was being picked up now, her blanket scattered to the wind and her feeble body examined under the inadequate light of the torches. Her tiny limbs, harshly grabbed by rough hands. Her body turned and lifted and thrown back violently into her crib.
“She’s a strong one that one.” Said one of the men. “She would have been washed out to sea as soon as anything.”
Then she was moving, at speed, across to where the stones met the tufts of Sea Kale. She was on a path now, feet were padding softy and the voices had relaxed.
“What sort of monster would do this to a child?”
“Left the little beggar there to die they did.”
The infant wailed again.
But the real monsters were the ones now carrying her rattan crib. She could hear the men laughing.
It sounded hollow. A dark, unhappy laugh.
***
Five years on from that very day, she died. Malnourished and naked but for a filthy, pull-up nappy.
The men had found her, but she’d stayed lost to the world. Hidden from view in a shed, she’d been kept as a pet. Her tiny frame had barely grown, her eyes were bloodshot and dark, her skin sallow and tight across her bones. She had the face of an old woman. A feral human rat, hunting for sustenance on the shit-covered floor of the room that she’d been forcibly chained to.
When the time had come, she’d slipped happily towards death, mistaking it for the love she didn’t know she wanted.
But death hadn’t taken her completely.
She could still remember the cold dampness of the stone floor, the vermin scuttling in the dark corners.
She could still remember the men, with their coarse laughter and harsh roars; the manacle round her ankle fused with her flesh.
She could still remember her mother.
She could still remember her fury.
***
Time had seemed endless after her first meeting with Death. She was free at last. Almost happy again like that day on the beach. But time, unlike death, will stay with you. Will bind itself to you and never leave your side. Time, unlike death, wants to see all your failures, wants to drink them in; imbibe your misery. Time lets you be happy, but it knows those times are fleeting. It’s the sadness it holds on to. It makes it last forever.
Time had seemed endless.
The years had passed and her soured soul had calcified into a fearful blackness. Time had suckled The Lostling with anger and hatred.
In death, she could replay her short life over and over.
She could remember her mother’s glassy tearless eyes on that cloudless day.
She could remember the men. Their rough hands and rougher actions.
For years, the images of her betrayal poisonously played in her mind like crazed marionettes.
***
Over the years, the men had found other children. Some had been stolen in broad daylight, under the cloak of trust from schools or hospitals. Sometimes, they had taken them from the streets, after dark, when loved and cherished children were safely tucked up in bed.
Their screams and cries had filled the ether. Their torment had ballooned and swollen, calling for help that would never come.
The Lostling’s soul could hear them.
Her child’s limbs, once chained and emaciated, were now strong and firm. Answering the call, she found herself in the empty room she’d once called her own. She could remember the festering smell of rot. There was more now. A palimpsest of misery had existed there since she’d left. The anger grew inside her as she heard the familiar hollow laugh from the next room.
She walked to the door and found that she could easily open it. It’s heavy metal clasp moving effortlessly in her tiny hand. The strip light in the grubby kitchen illuminated three men at the table. She knew who they were immediately. They were gray and balding now, but their grotesque gravely voices hadn’t changed.
Time had ravaged them, and for that, the Lostling was pleased.
Invisible, she walked to the smallest and fattest of the men and climbed onto his lap. He felt nothing, and continued talking to his friends. She took her thumbs and gently pressed them to his eyes. The man tried to brush away what he thought was a fly. She continued to apply pressure. The man began to scream and grab at the invisible force. Her child’s thumbs pressing relentlessly into his skull.
The two other men jumped up to help him as both eyeballs burst simultaneously, blood spurting thick and red across their threadbare plaid shirts.
The Lostling laughed as she turned to the second man.
He was screaming now, trying to lift his lifeless friend from the floor. The Lostling grabbed what was left of the hair on the back of his head. Her supernatural strength surprised even her, and with a gleeful screech, she pulled the skin clean from his scalp. Blood poured from the huge open wound as she doubled down and bit into his cranium, pulling out a lump of bone and exposing his brain.
The hole was the perfect size for her five-year-old hand.
As she sat there playing with his brain, the third man howled uncontrollably at the unseen assailant. Unable to conceive what he had witnessed, a madness in his head was buzzing, threatening to engulf him completely.
The Lostling almost took pity on him as she entered his body.
Once inside she found that she could control him.
Fashioning a noose from the low strung kitchen light, she calmly hung him by the neck above his two accomplices. She watched as his feet twitched and his urine soaked his trousers, dripping onto the bodies below.
***
That was the second time The Lostling met death.
He thanked her for the three souls, bowed and left.
The Lostling could still hear sorrow. Someone was calling her and her soul obliged.
***
She found herself in an old house. There was the smell of death here. A place where old people came to die.
In a beige room with lavender chairs, sat an old woman staring at a tv screen that was carelessly hung on the wall. There was a young woman holding her hand.
The Lostling walked up to her.
“Hello mother.”
The woman acknowledged her, and felt the soft touch of her child’s hand on her papery fingers.
A tear formed and slid down the old woman’s face.
“Is that you?” she whispered.
“Yes mother.”
The Lostling climbed inside the old woman. From there she began to tear at her innards, chewing on her intestines and scratching at the skin.
Grasping her stomach, the old woman fell to the ground in agony. Writhing and twisting like a beheaded snake.
The young woman that had been holding her hand screamed and one of the nursing staff came running. She pulled up the old woman’s viscose blouse in time to see what looked like tiny hands and feet pushing out at the belly of a heavily pregnant woman.
Just then, her bowels erupted from her, engulfing the care home staff with blood as the old woman screamed one last time before falling silent and limp.
After a short silence, the screams from the residents filled the room, as person after person lost control at the sight of sinew and blood covering the walls and furniture.
It was within this glorious chaos that the Lostling met Death for the third and final time.
“You’ve done well.”
“Thank you.”
“Suffer Little Children, come unto me.”
The Lostling was found. She felt happy again.
“Not yet. I’ve still got somewhere to be.”
Death understood.
The Lostling climbed inside her mother’s young companion. She could smell the DNA. She knew it was a relative. Perhaps her mother’s granddaughter. Perhaps from another child who had come after her. Her mother’s pregnant granddaughter.
She could get a life now.
An old soul, they’d say.
Time binds to misery. The Lostling knew how to wait.
The End.
Photo by Fabrizio Conti on Unsplash